RELATIONSHIP GOALS

We as people commonly strive for connection. Whether this connection is friendships, romantic relationships, sexual relationships, or any other sort, we strive for it. However, we as people are not commonly educated on when we should eliminate these relationships. No, I do not mean to commit murder, I don’t want all of your pretty faces behind bars. I simply mean, when should we no longer participate in these relationships if they causes us pain and suffering? I completely understand the desire to want to be loved and to be cherished, but I unfortunately also understand looking for that when said relationship is not providing me with this love.
I struggle with this because I, even though not blatantly obvious, look for the best people, and always give them the benefit of the doubt. Throughout my high school career, I have gone through a series of friendships, in which only a few have lasted more then 2 or so years. I become close with people rather quickly, and find myself pouring my heart to them before I am even 100% sure that they can be trusted. It takes me the majority of said friendship to figure out that I am giving WAY more than I am receiving. It took me a long time to come to this conclusion- believing you are not getting what you deserve (within reason) from a relationship, DOES NOT MAKE YOU SELFISH. Wanting more for yourself does not make you greedy. Craving a two sided relationship where both parties are having their needs met IS NOT too much to ask for.
If your relationships cannot handle you when you are at your lowest, then Gosh Dammit, they don’t deserve you when you are on top of the world. YOU deserve to have relationships that have a blast with you when your life is at a great point and know when to comfort you and to allow you to confide in them when you believe you have hit rock
bottom.
Take the following bullets into consideration:
1. You are an amazing person. Therefore, only those who are truly wondrous and spectacular deserve to be in your life.
2. “Friends” who make you feel like shit directly or indirectly over and over again, aren’t someone you (a beautiful soul) need to be around.
3. Friends, Family, Lovers, Etc. who cannot accept who YOU are (how you act, speak, dress, what you are interested in, etc.) should not have the acceptance from you into your life.
4. We all have limited time on this earth, share it with those who care.
5. You are SO WORTH LOVING, Have people in your life who remind you of that.

Friends, eliminate those from your life who do not have your best interest and happiness in mind.
We ALL deserve so much more.

I love you all and want to hear from you! Thoughts, problems, reviews, etc. I want to hear them all!

Jshepherd637@gmail.com

Twitter

So Worth Loving Shindig!

Tonight I was more than excited to attend a shindig hosted by So Worth Loving.
I met up with old friends and even had the pleasure of meeting a new one, whom I had been speaking to via text and social media for several months. Shout out to So Worth Loving and Taproom Coffee for hosting this wonderful event.
The founder of So Worth Loving, Eryn Erickson, whom I admire greatly, gave me some very important advice tonight: “No matter the level of your anxiety, you are never alone.” Of course, SWL is all about promoting how there is always someone available for you that can love on you and show you your worth, but hearing it from her, an idol of mine, allowed me to fully get into gear. My anxiety cripples me at time, leaving me short of breath with a face covered in tears and longing for absolution. It is gonna be tough my friends, to get this through your precious minds, but we can so do this!
Ever since my finding of SWL and its massive following in 2013, I have admired it’s message. Tonight, I felt more connected to this company than ever. When speaking to Eryn of high school, we came to the conclusion that high school flat out sucks and that it’s okay to hurt and to not be okay.
That is what SWL is all about, having a community of broken people, who strive to love on the broken.
There were laughs, smiles, and a whole lot of hugging, which makes any night enjoyable, but the SWL crew made tonight oh so special for dozens of loving people (loving on coffee and people!)
I shared conversations tonight with a variety of people, from fashion majors to famous authors, which shows the diversity of the SWL community.
I came home tonight with passion in my soul and a rad new tee from SWL!

So tonight friends, put down your razor blades, step down from the scale, quit self-medicating, and take a deep breath. We are worth so much more then tearing ourselves down.
We are SO WORTH LOVING.

IT IS SO WORTH IT

I started this blog in June 2014, throwing huge parts of my struggles onto the internet for anyone to see. Over my past 5 or so blog posts, I’ve been using information that I gather throughout my day an incorporating those into a blog post. Today, I figured I would take a turn and go back towards making my blog posts most personal. Because after all, I am still a huge work in progress.
I constantly ask myself this dark question: “Is my life even worth it anymore?” I lay in bed at night, drowning in my own anxiety, my own depression, my own pain. I have the best support system anyone could ask for, and I know that I can turn to that system whenever I need help. However, if you’re reading this and you suffer with any mental disorder, you understand the fear, the near impossibility, of reaching out and saying that you’re struggling. I look back a years time, reading old tweets, old journal entries, old texts, and realize how truly negative I was in every single aspect of my life. Every conversation was “I’m too fat” “I’m too ugly” and it ruined some of the best things that ever happened to me within my life. I ruined a relationship that had made me happier than I ever been (Or so I thought. How could I have been happy while I was so self-conscious?) and I lost a huge chunk of my life by focusing on everything that was going wrong in my life. Now, although I don’t center my life about my weight or how I look (because honestly who the hell gives a shit anymore. I’m a senior in high school, it’s lucky if I can make it out the door in the morning, much less look cute or worry about what I’m eating.) I am constantly concerned with the progress on the road to happiness I have made (or haven’t made). I miss everything about my junior year of high school. Relationships, trips for choir, our spring musical. Although I have ALL of those things ahead of my for my senior year, everything seems to be different. I’ve made different mistakes, a lot of my friends graduated, and I have to focus on my future. I don’t feel like my life is happy. When I get up in the morning, I am upset. I don’t want to wake up most mornings and I certainly do not want to face the world. That’s anxiety. It’s something I suffer with, and it’s something I am always going to suffer with until I find away to just not give a damn. But that’s the thing about anxiety, you can’t just throw away things that are on your mind, because they consume you. Every negative though I have, consumes my entire body, my movement, my facial expressions, my singing, my everything. I used to be so good at hiding what I was feeling, but now, it reads all over my face, and I have no way of hiding what I am going through (Thus me posting about it).
I guess the point of my going through that entire rant for you is to explain the importance of perserverance, the importance to get yourself out of bed in the morning and face the world, because without doing that, how will you ever have a chance of happiness? Without facing your problems, without me facing my anxiety, how will I ever get better? If I don’t try, how will I have a great senior year?
Those nights that we lay in bed and wish that we wouldn’t wake up in the morning, have got to be only temporary. This won’t be forever. But for now, it is something that we are going to have to live with. We’re going to have depressing thoughts, and those thoughts are going to consume our minds for a while, but we have to push through.
Why, you ask?
1. Life is beautiful
2. Sunshine is so much more wonderful that the ceiling of your bedroom.
3. You and I are So Worth Loving

Friends, anxiety is a bitch.
Anxiety is that bitch in high school telling you that you aren’t worthy.
Telling you that you don’t fit in.
Telling you that you can’t do it anymore.
But guess what?
Bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks.
Think about it.
Anxiety is nothing but a bunch of sick tricks and lies.
Our anxiety will not defeat us.
Our anxiety is what is of no value.
We, on the other hand, have SO much value

So tonight, when you’re laying in bed and thinking: Is my life really worth it?
Remind yourself of this blog post. Remind yourself how much you have to look forward to in your life. Remind yourself that you are so loved.
WE can do this.
And WE can do this together.

Reach out to me:

Send me an email, I would love to hear your story.
Friends are wonderful, especially when you have common struggles.
JShepherd637@gmail.com

A Temple Is No Place For An Eating Disorder

In modern society, eating disorders have taken over the teenage and young adult population (I am not limiting them to this age group) as a way to get the “ideal” body or weight.
If you’ve been reading my blog since June, you’re aware of my struggles with anorexia and bulimia in 2012.

I am an avid tumblr user, and occasionally, stumble upon some old blogs that I used to follow that were “thinspiration” pages or pages about self harm/depression/anxiety/other mental disorders. These pages used to fascinate me and after reading, I would want to be even skinnier than I already was. I now look at these pages I still have the feeling in my gut that I should lose weight occasionally, but I’ve grown enough mentally to know how stupid my eating disorder caused me to be. These tumblr pages eventually caused me to create one myself (alongside the twitter I was already running that was tracking my every meal, every binge, every purge, every hour without food.) I became caught up in a realm of people who were suffering from the same problems I was dealing with. It’s a sick community of helping others to be the best (aka skinniest they can be). I found myself spending more time in this world than the one that I should have been living. When I wasn’t making myself throw up or starving myself, I was documenting it, talking to me “thin family” or “fit family” (I also ran an exercise account in order to hide the fact that I was actually starving myself). I lost months upon months of my life for a goal that really wasn’t something possible for a person of my size. I wanted to be 110 lbs. I am 5’9. At this point, I was competing in two sports, and practicing every day. How I didn’t kill myself creeps across my mind occasionally.
What bothers me about these accounts, is how “beautiful” people consider these malnourished bodies.
Now, as I say this, I make this point:

Everybody is beautiful

This quote is quite popular on social media, encouraging others to love and value the bodies that were given to them even if it isn’t the one they truly want.
Here comes the tricky part:
This phrase means absolutely nothing to those who are struggling with an eating disorder. This is blunt, I am aware, but in the mindset of an person struggling with an eating disorder, who is constantly thinking of how to shed more weight off their probably already frail body, a phrase telling them that they have a beautiful body has no power against the negativity about their body already flourishing within their minds.

Your body is a Temple, yes.
Without a leader in said temple though, what becomes of it?
A sunset without vibrant colors, Independence day without fireworks, a wedding without a passionate kiss to seal your love.
Love your body, worship it, fall down on your knees even,
but never starve yourself. Never force your meals out of your precious body.
It is a pain I cannot express to you fully. A physical pain, a mental pain. My heart ached, my body hurt, I was weak, I was short of breath, and I was suffering from a loss of life.

We then come back to the essential question:
Is skinny beautiful?
A healthy skinny, a fit skinny, a natural skinny, is a wondrous thing.
Just as curves are a magnificent thing.

Find your healthy point, and love yourself and your body for it.
Your body is a temple, don’t you dare tarnish it with purging and starving.

Next time you look into the water of that toilet bowl, remember everything you are giving up, remember all of the health issues that can and WILL emerge from bulimia.
Next time you push away a meal because you long for the scale to reveal a lower number, remember all of the flavors you are passing up. Remember how frail you are making your bones and body.

I leave you with a humorous yet effective quote:

I’d rather be fat and happy than skinny and hungry

(I mean this is no offense to anyone, I have just found this to be VERY effective.)
Weight can be lost effectively, and in a way that you can maintain your happiness.
Having an eating disorder captures no sunlight, no joy, nothing but pain and the need for more.

Body Shaming//Men Have Insecurities About Their Bodies Too

In recent months, there has been an outbreak over what is more attractive: Skinny or Curvy. In Meghan Trainor’s song, “All about that bass” lines such as “go and tell those skinny bitches that” or “boys like a little more booty to hold at night” spread across social media, defending two sides.
Side 1 is 100% for this song promoting the beauty in curves and have something to grab at night, for lack of a better phrase.
Side 2 is 100% against this song as it promotes “skinny girl body shaming”.

I am extremely torn on this topic of conversation because of the pros and cons of both sides.
I always try (sometimes I fail) to promote the beauty in all body types: skinny, fat, curvy, awkward, long legs, long torso, short legs, short torso, etc.
I promote loving your body no matter WHAT size or shape you are.
But I don’t promote hating someone because of their body.
Fat shaming has been an issue for years, especially around the middle school and high school ages.
However, recently, “skinny shaming” has become a topic of conversation.
What bothers me is the argument that is surrounding these, which is causing the issue, not the actual comments. The past several months have been filed with social media arguments fighting over who truly has it worse, fat or skinny girls (also for lack of a better phrase).
I have two points to make about this:
1. In high school, you don’t see girls with nice bodies being picked on, maybe the occasional girl who is viewed to have an awkward body. It is usually the girls that have a little extra that get the grief.
2. Regardless of body size and who has it worse: Shaming someone else for the body that they have is nothing to be proud of and should not be something to argue over based on who has it worse. We are all guilty of judging someone of how they look or how much they weigh, and it is something that needs to change within our society. EVERYONE HAS INSECURITIES AND COULD BE INSECURE ABOUT THEIR BODIES SO SHAMING GIRLS FOR THEIR BODIES AND THEN ARGUING ABOUT WHO HAS IT WORSE IS NO BUENO.
Skinny, fat, curvy, or bony, you have a beautiful body, love it because it is YOURS.
This song, empowered women around the world to see the beauty in their curvy bodies and to not strive for something like a skinny body if that isn’t what they want.
It allows women, and even some men, to understand that someone will fall in love with you no matter what your body type or how much you weight.

—–
This brings me to my next topic of conversation: men and their body image.
I plan to go into greater detail into this is one of my next posts, but I thought now would be an appropriate time to introduce it.
The stereotype surrounding men is that we must always act tough and be strong physically and not talk about feelings/how we feel, even about our bodies.
The stereotype surrounding gay men is that we must always be cute and fit.
Us gays are always talking about our feelings.

The tie between the two of them is that we are both human.
Just like the women, we were born with a heart, a soul, and were given a body, whether we appreciate that body or not is completely up to us.

I remember being a big athlete and swimming every single day, working my six-pack.
I also remember during this time how much I hated myself, even though physically, my body was nice to look at.
This can go for football players, basketball players, lacrosse players, male cheerleaders, theatre kids, ANYONE.

Boys, what I am trying to tell you is that it’s okay to be insecure. It’s okay to look in the mirror after football practice, after school, before school, after rehearsal, etc. and not like what you see.
You want to know why? You’re human.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO HAVE LADY PARTS TO FEEL. TO HURT. TO TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS. TO CRY. TO ASK FOR HELP. TO BE INSECURE.

Reach out to someone, talk about your feelings, and accept that you don’t have to be strong all the time.
You can do this boys!
You can do this girls!
We can do this together!

Sharing, Conversation, Love, and a Smile

I am just going to apologize for the length between my posts now a-days, unfortunately senior year is a bit harder and more time consumer than I expected it to be (AP Lit, Chamber Choir, Musical Theatre, Working) But I felt as if this topic deserved a bit more conversation and explanation.

Suicide prevention day is September the 10th. I fully support TWLOHA and SWL and these companies are dedicated to preserving the lives and happiness of others. Recently at my school, a girl committed suicide. Any time I hear of these stories, my heart breaks. It breaks because I know others who are currently starting at death in the mirror wishing it to come to them in the night, and how I was once one of those people. What aches me, is within the same day, Joan Rivers passed away, a woman who I think is absolutely fabulous. I found others and even myself and my friend talking more of Joan Rivers of times than the girl who just took her own life because she felt that she had no one left for her, nothing left in this beautiful and crazy world for her. I felt awful, and immediately was so grateful for the friends I have struggling that are still alive. I wept for her family internally, and couldn’t even bare putting my friends or family through what they are right now.
The story supposedly was that this girl had some relationship struggles and took her life that night. It seems to me that there was a bit more background information, and I’m sure there was. This girl probably had some locked up hurt that was trapped inside of her poor soul. I never knew this girl, and I wish that I could have reached out to her as a friend, maybe just one more friend, one more conversation, one more smile could have saved her life. This is where the importance of sharing and conversation come into play.
My darkest times were when I was strictly keeping all of my pain and sorrows to myself, praying for death, but an easy death, one in which I wouldn’t have to do anything to end it. I was a coward, a scared of death, scared of life. I was trapped within my own mind and my own disease. Eventually, I found some friends and some lovers who I entrusted my struggles with. Nearly instantly, I felt a wave of relief come over me and a gigantic weight come off of my withering chest. My life was saved because I opened up and was able to share my problems and others offered me solutions and love. All I needed was communication, relating to someone, some love, a lot of sharing sharing, and a flash of a toothy smile. I needed someone to care and to talk to me. Some days all the kept me sane was a quick smile from someone and a quick hello.
The importance of conversation is never ending, sharing could save your life or someone else, a smile could keep someone from taking their own life that very night, and caring could change the world.
Let’s do it together, loves.

Timeline of Recovery

I was just scrolling through these old pictures of myself- I found this.
At this point, I was still so sick.
I was still cutting myself every night.
I thought at this point I was the closest thing to attractive I had ever been.
I was sick.
I was lost.
I was alone.
I was starving myself. I was deprived from love.

I had just been caught…
I was about to start my road to recovery.

About six months later, I posted this picture to instagram.
From having an eating disorder-Having a six pack…
I appear to be healthy, right?
Take a look at my arms, see anything odd?
I was still cutting.
I look happier..But was I really?

I then found this picture…
My one year eating disorder recovery anniversary…
I hated myself still at this point. But I was clean.
I was clean. I was unhappy…But I was clean.

Now here I am, the happiest I have ever been.
I have best friends, I inspire others.
I am alive, and I am free.
Just as you will be one day.

LOOK AT ME I’VE GOTTEN A BIT CHUNKY COMPARED TO WHAT I WAS, BUT I LOVE MYSELF SO MUCH BECAUSE I AM SO SOOOO WORTH LOVING.
I showed you my timeline of recovery…
Let’s see yours!

Your Story Has Value

A common thought within my mind is that my recovery and telling my story of it is completely without a purpose.
Although I am very proud of all that I have accomplished, until today, I felt as if my story was just like a thousand before mine.
Today, a young woman came up to me, shaking, with tears falling out of her eyes, explaining to me how my blog had inspired her to stop some harmful actions and start getting better. My heart instantly began to beat.
To hear that my words, my story, my life, had helped someone get on the road to a happy and healthy life.
This young woman had been contemplating on whether or not to speak to me, and finally allowed herself to do so. I saw the pain within her eyes and I saw how desperately she wanted to feel loved by herself. This young woman gave me the boost that I needed to continue this blog.
You may think that no one is listening to you, that no one feels your pain, and that there is no value behind your story of recovery and your story of struggle, but I ma here to tell you that all of these things are 100% wrong.
You may be sitting alone on your bedroom floor because none of your friends can understand why you’re so obsessed with your body.
You may cry yourself to sleep every night because of the body you have covered in scars.
You may wish that the next time you fall asleep, not to wake up.
I know how it feels to ponder upon how wonderful death would be, and the feeling of believing your life is worth than any hell waiting for you in the afterlife. I know what it feels like to plan out your suicide and have it all written out.
But I know that my pain, is pain that thousands, possibly even millions of people are feeling, and that my story, your story, their story, can inspire someone else to become healthy.

I looked in a mirror after this conversation with this young woman, and I felt damned good. I smiled to myself, knowing that I had completed the goals I have always strived for- to inspire others.
Since my publication of my recovery and homosexuality, I have attracted young gays, young women, and friends my age pouring their stories to me. As overwhelming as this is, I need to let people know to fight through it.
Fight through the bitches, the ass holes, the cutting, the burning, the starving, the throwing up, the drinking, the drugs, the beatings, the sex, the lies, and the hatred.
Fight through it all. Fight through it so that you have your own story to tell one day.

I am living proof of how depression and anxiety cannot defeat you if you fight.
I am here to tell you that someone looks up to you, whether you know it or not.

If you are reading this right now, scared to death of your thoughts, I am here.
Your hatred is nothing more than a phase.
You have value.
One day you will have a story of your recovery.
And that story will have value.
I love you all.

Do not be ashamed of your scars, use them as a conversation starter, you never know who could really need the help. Use your experiences as lessons, use your past as a warning, and always always always, continue to love yourself. After all, you wouldn’t still be alive if you didn’t love yourself just a bit, aren’t I right?

We are made for struggle.

I feel as if right now I have three purposes.

To Struggle. To Learn from those Struggles. To teach about those Struggles.

I can’t help but feel awful when I think about some of the mean comments that I’ve said about people that I don’t even know. Don’t get this confused with being sassy- because sassy ain’t leaving any time soon.

When I was struggling with self harm and severe depression, I was a hateful person. I was angry at the world so I felt the need to take this out on everyone else. Angry remarks, swearing at people, attempting to shut out the world that made me so cold in the first place.

Nearly two years later, I still have enemies from that time period that will refuse to look past the fact that I’m different now.

I want people to know that what I went through was incredibly excruciating. My 8th grade year-Christmas of my junior year was a nightmare, and I hope that I never have anything that painful in my life ever again. I want to spread to the world how much I want to help, how much I want people to avoid the pain I went through.

I wake up in the mornings sometimes and just want to burst into tears because of how I’m feeling, but I remember that I’m alive and I’ll be damned if I fall into a pit again.

When people come to me now and explain to their stories and current struggles, it breaks my heart. Especially when someone explains to me how they cut themselves, starve themselves, hate themselves… I lay awake at nights thinking, thinking about how I’m alive, thinking about what others are going through, and thinking about all the people I know who wished that they wouldn’t wake up in the morning.

I want everyone to know reading this straight up, self harm isn’t beautiful, draining your body of it’s nutrients doesn’t make you beautiful, taking pills to wake up in a different universe isn’t the answer.

Self harm is an addiction, compared to cocaine by therapists. Eating disorders only destroy the body that is already so damned beautiful. Committing suicide prevents you from experience the wonders within the world- including the rest of your life.

I was put on this Earth to struggle. I struggled. I struggled so hard that I more days of wanting to be dead than alive. I struggled to the point of hating everyone and everything. I struggled to the point of ruining the majority of my high school years.

High school is a shit hole, let’s be real here, but I made it 100 times worse than it needed to be. You can change this. You can make the best of your years.

Next time you contemplate suicide, think about who loves you. Think about who you love and what you love. What would your mother do without you? How would your best friend make it through high school without you? How will you be able to pursue the passions within your soul if you aren’t even there to participate in them?

Throw away that blade. Kiss your wrist and live your life.

How will you share that special night with someone? How will you ever create a family? There are so many reasons I could type out to you tonight of why your life is worth living.

Your scars, your hurts, your body, tells a story. Tells a story of struggle, tells a story of LIFE.

You were made knowing that struggle would be apart of your life. What will you do with your struggle? Will you fall into the reigns of struggle? Or will you stand up and love yourself? Tonight you are beautiful, tomorrow you are beautiful, and you are always so worth loving.

We are broken people, but broken pieces make a puzzle.

We will struggle in life. I can 100% guarantee you that you will hate parts of your life. But what makes life amazing is that it keeps going if YOU put in the effort.

recovery still sucks 2 years later

Today I started my senior year of high school, an exciting point in ones live, however today was probably the worst first day of school I’ve ever been to. I started my morning at chickfila with some friends, running in to people that don’t enjoy me. Already at 7:30 in the morning, I felt judged, something that I definitely hadn’t missed all summer. I could already tell that today was going to be rough, and I already felt my face turning hot and red from frustration.
I had so much anger and anxiety built up inside of me today and I honestly have no idea what to do with it. Usually when I’m angry or upset over someone or something, the normal level of sass I have (which is still high…whoops) just escalates so that I have something to hind behind what I’m really feeling.
Today I felt hated for being gay. Today I felt judged because of that way I cross my legs when I sit, for the way I laugh, for the way I walk, and for the way that I talk. I hadn’t felt this insecure in several months. I looked for salvation in choir as I always do, and I found bits of it, but also added on to my struggles for the day.
As a senior in chamber choir and an officer, I should be jumping with joy and I am, partially. However, with news of solo sight reading tests and pass offs, my heart sinks and I know I won’t do well. Knowing that you’re not as great as something as you need to be really stinks, and when it’s going to affect your grade, it hurts.
Today and in the past few months, I have gotten in the worst habit of comparing myself to others again. I’m hurting a lot right now because I’m not in theater, but I have to constantly remind myself that if I was in theater this year, how much more I would compare myself to others.
If you’re reading this, I’m sure you understand what it’s like to have a passion about something. For me, it’s singing, and there is nothing more that I’d rather be doing (except for an occasional power nap), and when passion and anxiety miss, it’s a deathly duo. I don’t want to wallow in pity, because I know that I have talent and I know that just about nobody works as hard as I do.
I just want a moment, a moment of recognition, a moment of applause, a moment of satisfaction from doing a job well done.
I guess what I’m trying to get out of this post is that yes I’m “recovered” but I still have anxiety, I still compare myself to anyone I think is superior to me, and I am wounded inside right now from doing that to myself.
As hard as it’s going to be, gaining my confidence back my senior year is something that must happen. No matter what happens, no matter if I fail my sight reading tests, or don’t get solos, I will be confident within myself once again.
This goes for anyone: Being confident starts with being happy in the situation that you’re in. No matter how hard it is, or how unhappy you may feel, there has to be a positive aspect of every situation.
I’m more guilty of that than I would like to admit, not being happy within the current situations of my life. I need to work on my anger towards to world, and I need to stop taking everything in my life so seriously. I have one year left as a kid practically, and I’ll be damned if I ruin another year of high school for myself.
Through So Worth Loving and some tea, I will conquer my struggles of the year. Just like I always have.

Here’s to happiness and seniority kids!
Best of luck to all of you, no matter the situation you may be in!

Twitter- @JoshShepB
Instagram- @JoshuaShepherd

Send me emails on feedback, ideas for future blogs, and thoughts on this post!
jshepherd637@gmail.com I would really love to here from you loves! ♥